Embrace the Suck!

Excuse my language. Sometimes after a long period of upheaval and uncertainty, we just feel like the world sucks! And when we do, it can be time to ACT.

Let me back up a bit to explain. I’ve been fairly and consistently upbeat and positive throughout 2020 and the first half of 2021, even with all that has happened in those months. Without pointing out the specifics, we are mostly aware of the social, political, health, medical, business, economic, and our own personal upheavals within this time frame. Since our business at MindTeam Solutions is to partner with organizations to create positive cultures, engage employees, and develop strong leaders, we have had to model much of what we coach, teach, and consult about.

The long-term effect of upheaval and uncertainty, however, begins to drain us as individuals. We yearn for improvements and positive changes. We see some taking place, yet there is a lot that either will not change or not change any time soon. These are the areas where experts in psychology suggest that we accept that things are the way they are, at least for a while.

Please note, I do not suggest we avoid activism or finding and implementing solutions. I genuinely believe that we must be the change we seek and lead with solutions where we can. What I suggest here is that at times, we need the ability to see reality clearly and embrace all our emotions, both pleasant and unpleasant. Uncle Sidney says, “The point is, when you’re stuck, surrounded or suffering, you need to assess where you are, learn to live with it and try to advance. You need to ‘embrace the suck’.’’ Teaser: Read the full article in the Wall Street Journal at the end of this Leadership Letter about Uncle Sidney!

Examples of these strategies include:

• Slow down and make space. Back off from multiple tasks and commitments. Be in the present. Take a measure of your physical state of being. Listen to your heartbeat. Take three deep breaths. Stop and smell the roses. This clears mental noise stressing you.
• Create a mantra. Come up with a phrase that you can repeat over and over again. Example: “This, too, shall pass.” When you say your mantra repeatedly, you momentarily crowd out thoughts that cause you stress.
• Talk to yourself. Address yourself in the third person and give yourself the counsel you would give a friend or colleague for the situation you’re facing. It’s amazing how you will hear yourself tell yourself exactly what you need to hear!
• Remember your core values. Go back to the basics of who you are and what you stand for to make some of the decisions you need to make. Certainty about your core values moves you through the uncertainty of what you may be facing. Just because the world seems crazy at the time doesn’t mean that you give up on what means the most to you.
• Sail around your island. The overused phrase that “you are not alone” may be difficult to believe when you face mounting stress over situations that feel uniquely yours. Yet, you really are not alone. Someone else has (or is) experienced something similar. It may not be exactly your experience, yet it might be what they can empathize with you. If you identify as extroverted, reach out to a friend, colleague, or even a brand-new connection to share what you feel comfortable sharing about what you’re experiencing. Then say what you need, i.e. “Simply a listening ear without advice”. Or advice if that’s what you need. If you identify as introverted, perhaps finding that person online, or a group that provides assistance, or reading something that is hopeful, and uplifting gets you out of yourself (your island) so you can move beyond yourself.

I acknowledge that, at times, these strategies are easier suggested than implemented. Yet as we move through more uncertainty and are challenged with leading others through the same, it behooves us to “embrace the suck”, ACT, and with help from others if needed, move forward with clearer heads and more grounded emotions.

Read the full Wall Street Journal article HERE.